Why do children feel excluded for not conforming to the norms of peers?
This is one of the most prevalent issues our children face. As this is also one of the most prevalent issues that we all as human beings and as part of society, face. Based on certain patterns and experiences of others, generally there are guidelines developed automatically as part of the society we live in or the circle the child lives in and then we start comparing ourselves or others by conforming to those guidelines. Recently one of the parents who we coached, had their teenage girl going through a depression phase due to not having a boyfriend. This is due to the reasons that there are perceived guidelines that having a boyfriend or girlfriend after a certain age is a norm since it gives some perceived security and superiority. As we go deeper into the problem the problem is not non-conformity but the feeling of superiority or inferiority. As long as we as human beings continue to appreciate superiority, it will manifest in various problems like this. Once the child understands this she or he automatically will accept the current situation as is rather than what it should be. Through conscious parenting you can develop your child to deal with these situations and resolve them at the origination of it.
Though parents may feel so but they really are not powerless to help their kids recover from social exclusion, however they surely need the right outlook. By acknowledging feelings, finding solutions together, and helping children being aware and tap into their own resources, parents can support their kids through this agonizing experience and ultimately prepare them to face any future adversity with more confidence.